Voila! New Kid Lit Mag
One Week Away: 2nd Carnival of Children's Literature

Guest Poet: David Moody

I am thrilled to announce Chicken Spaghetti's first guest contributor. David Moody is a very funny guy living in Michigan, where he is a Cataloging Librarian at the University of Detroit Mercy. Here is his poem, which is very apt for a blog about children's books.

Lunch with Laura
by David Moody

If like Shakespeare you'd be makin'
Just pretend you're Francis Bacon
Frying up some Romeo and Juliet.
If on Updike you've been spying
Rabbits still are multiplying
And I do not think that they have stopped it yet.
If your name is Charles Dickens
All your characters will sicken
As consumption hits them with a hacking cough.
If you give a mouse a cookie
You're no literary rookie
And your name is Laura Joffe Numeroff.

If you think that John's the Irving
Who is truly most deserving
Say a prayer for Owen Meany and for Garp,
If with Hemingway you're writing
There'll be lots of bull and fighting
But be sure to take some time to catch a carp.
If you fish with Joseph Heller
Who's a funny kind of feller
Then a catch of 22 is not far off.
If you give a mouse a cookie
Then you're something of a bookie
And your name is Laura Joffe Numeroff.

If Fitzgerald had a Zelda
Still he didn't have Imelda
Just a bunch of stuff that hit him with the blues.
If Bill Faulkner's work is gnarly
His relationships are snarly
And it's difficult to tell just who is whose.
If you're munching on a pita
While devouring Lolita
Then I think that you are reading Nabokov.
If you give a mouse a cookie
There's no need to take a lookie
For your name is Laura Joffe Numeroff.

If you're Huckleberry Finnish
And your hair resembles spinach
Then some one has put a Mark upon your Twain.
If Tolstoy's your inspiration
You'll depict the Russian nation
And will probably wind up beneath a train.
If you feel that you must grovel
It's a Dostoyevsky novel—
Crime and Punishment of young Raskolnikov,
If you give a mouse a cookie
And you don't look like a Wookie
Then your name is Laura Joffe Numeroff.

If your brains begin to boil
Reading Arthur Conan Doyle
Then we can deduce a case of Sherlock Holmes.
If O'Henry makes a living
Then the Magi will be giving
And you'll sell your watch to buy those fancy combs.
If there's books of all description
Starting off with science fiction
Then you might be reading Isaac Asimov.
If you give a mouse a cookie—
Well I gotta tell you, Pookie,
That your name is Laura Joffe Numeroff.

Comments

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Brilliant ! I've never heard of Laura Joffe Numeroff before, but the poem is very clever and witty. Thanks for sharing it !

I really like Laura Numeroff books and David Moody did a wonderful job of combining a number of other literary works with her most notable book. Very clever and fun to read. Thanks for posting this to share.

You're quite welcome. I like David's poem, too! Thanks for your comments. Michele, Laura Joffe Numeroff is the author of a number of very popular picture books here in the States; her many works include If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, If You Give a Pig a Pancake, and If You Give a Moose a Muffin.

I love the poem, Susan (and David). What a stylish first contributor you have :)

So I established, Susan, when I looked her up afterwards ! (Sorry about the double post of my comment yesterday - I hadn't registered you were now moderating comments, and I couldn't work out why the first comment hadn't appeared ! Duh !)

Terrific poem! I've known David for a decade now and have been the lucky recipient of some of his poems and lyrics. You can always count on him for wit, style and a smile. :-)

It was nice i liked it!

I love the poem.

Thanks, Ashley. David is a really talented guy.

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